her vagine was all disorganized.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
