Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
