Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
