We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
