I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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