break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
