I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
