Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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