How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
