In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
