my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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