im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize