No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
