We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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