your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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