i jhust puked up my retainher.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
