i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
