he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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