i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Randomize
