living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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