If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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