real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
