# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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