Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
