Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
