what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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