Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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