how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
