he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
