Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
