i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
