They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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