That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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