It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
