Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
