My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
