is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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