Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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