I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
