I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
