Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
