You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
