Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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