Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Randomize
