you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
