u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
