at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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