Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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