I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Im part way to drunk.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
