She said her name was "party"
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
