So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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