Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
