i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm like, not good at living.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
