Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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