You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
