pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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