Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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