dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
