she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
