how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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